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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

May 13, 2005

Born under a bad sign

Friday the 13th it be.

I can't remember the last time it was Friday the 13th. Now I have to admit that I'm currently more superstitious than a medieval beggar who hasn't got the plague yet.

Now why should it be that I haven't noticed Friday the 13th for as long as I can remember? The answer is simple. It's because whenever I asked myself what or who I was, computers always came into the recipe somewhere. And in the world of computing everyday is Friday the 13th.

Now that I've externalised my involvement in computers I am free to be superstitious again like the rest of the modern-dressing population.

Sometimes before I leave for work I watch the news because of its handy clock in the corner of the screen. So far as I can see that is the only actual use for television.

However, whenever I see the news I find myself irritated by the bi-polar nature of our society; the disparity between what we say and what we do as a society. It seems that nobody practices what they preach.

In terms of our laws and government and everything else like that we are so slack-arsed and namby-pamby sometimes that it makes me wince. And yet the most timid member of society behaves with a ruthless, voracious selfishness and rudeness that beggars belief.

This morning the Scooters-to-work scheme was featured. Apparently, the Employment Department and its sub-contractors are having great success in getting kids to go to work by giving them scooters. How fucking gay-hippy is that? What should be happening is that the selfish work-shy be-hooded wankers should be booted up the arse for NOT going to work.

And on top of that, the combination of an under-25 with a scooter constitutes one of the most dangerous and unpredictable animals to ever wander along the Queen's highway.

Giving these children scooters is irresponsible. And a baseball cap plus hood is no sort of protection when they have such terrible road accidents while stoned out of their faces on the way to work. They'll be having accidents all over the place: sliding under buses; going through garden walls at high speed; somersaulting through plate-glass shop windows. Reaper fodder! Flowers under the blade of the ploughshare! Oh, the humanity!

Actually, looking at the real benefits, I'm all for it.


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