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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

May 13, 2005

Cool it, daddio! You're so square.

Maxine at work likes to have her radio on.

I'm not opposed to that. Anything that makes our shabby lives slightly more tolerable has to be a Good Thing. And music is one of the defining features of humanity so what could be better?

I don't know what Radio Station she listens to. It might even be a CD, come to think of it.

There are several songs that come up that seem, shall we say, repetitive. One sounds like the keyboard has got stuck. Then there was that song recently that sampled the Jefferson Airplane song Need Somebody to Love.

Now there's a new one. It features a sample from a Judy Tzuke track called Stay with me till dawn which was a staple of local radio stations' airplay at 3.30am in the early eighties.

As I remember she was a bit of a soft focus and patchoulli sort of singer, a bit like a poor man's Stevie Nicks.

Anyway, aside from aging blond singers, what I wanted to comment about was that to old gits like me these songs sound awful.

The samples are often so big that you can't help but wonder whether they just clicked the "start" button in the sequencer for a preset MIDI drum pattern and Control-V'd huge swathes of audio file straight in.

To younger listeners I'm sure that they are exciting displays of dubbing skills and music history knowledge. But when you know the original, and you remember vinyl with its annoying jumps and sticking, these songs sound comical and irritating.

The only time we used to hear that staccato repetition on the radio in my day was when the vinyl had a scratch and the DJ had nipped off for a sneaky dump mid-track, and then he'd have to apoligise when he came back, for the 2 minutes of stuttering.

Please then, no more of your stuck records, eh fellas. You remind me of Dave Lee Travis stumbling down a corridor with his clouts round his ankles, racing to get back to the boothe to lift the needle out of the rut.

Don't you want Don't you Want Want Don't you Want... come off it! It's not even the same Beats Per Minute!


  • Thanks, Si. You just gave me a flamin' earworm of "Don't You Want Somebody to Love" for the afternoon.

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 6:52 am  

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