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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

May 09, 2005

Dirty bean bag

Doris Rowing-Parker from Clifton will know that "dirty bean bag" is Misheard-speak for Gary Glitter's famous lyric "good to be back" from My Gang. "Allo! Allo! Dirty bean bag! Dirty bean bag!..."

Just an update on last week...

I voted Green for Pope. Of course, Kenny Clark still got the gig anyhows.

They love him round our way. Because they all think they are members of some little millionaire toffs club with their semis and pensions and Salesman's Tans, you see.

In the local election I voted Labour. Or was that who I voted for to be the winner of VE Day? I dunno now. All these news events are blurring into a turbid wankfest of eventdom.

The neighbours are still reeling from the fact that a coloured man with a Porsche has moved into the house on the corner. He voted Kendred Clark as well though.

But there is a crucial and undeniable cultural difference between him and all the other Nu-nouveaus on our street: he, like me, thinks it's vulgar to tell people that your curtains cost you over a grand.

And I heartily concur with Rob's sentiments regarding Eighties Tory fall out. All you young 'uns who think you are sooo stylish with your wonderful lifestyles propped up on credit cards; you are all just the mechanically produced spawn of Norman Tebitt's nazi-like Nozick-inspired notion of liberty.

Anyway, has anyone noticed the weather recently? Blue skies populated with cloud formations that look like floating dark grey jellyfish? Except the dangling tentacles are actually torrential hail storms.

And we're getting frosts in May? What the fuck is going on?

Those storms are like the ones they get in hurricane alley in the US, aren't they? Golf-ball size hail stones and hurricanes are coming to Ingerland-Land.

Mark my words, another Sign Of The Times. I mean, not the day of biblical reckoning, but the day of our ecological nemesis veritably cometh.

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