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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

November 24, 2005

Three sheets to the wind again

They were making a hoo har this morning on the news about pubs ringing last orders last night for the last time.

Call me a cynic but I don't believe that we've heard the last of it. I think that it was just a few local bars using the change in the law as a Marketing Opportunity: "Look at me! I'm ringing last orders for the last time!"

Older people who have a drink problem will have realised long ago that there is already a place where you can consume alcohol 24x7. It's called "home". Plus you can pass out there without fear of having your clothes helpfully removed by a passing stranger.

You see, modern franchised bars are for young people who are out of control. There is only one thing that will stop them drinking. That's their lapsing into a state of catalepsy in the gutter**.

I can understand the thinking that bars not closing will lessen the need to panic-buy drinks, but I think that the Will To Consume is a stronger factor in binge drinking than Brute Panic.

And 70% of the work that hospitals and the police perform in this country is drink related. The Other 30% is down to drugs and old people. So when you go to casualty now, instead of an 8 hour wait before you get assessed by a nurse, there'll be a 24 hour wait.

So Nottingham city centre will become a 24x7 no-go area because of peshed-up young folk, braying and falling over with their cocks out.

** I tried an image search on "drunk" on Google and was rewarded with a number of web sites that appear to be showing "real" pictures of half dressed and unconscious young women being exploited sexually, and that, as much as anything, says it all.


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