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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

December 12, 2005

Babylon is burning

Following the explosions at Buncefield Fuel depot, UK, yesterday, which cast most of Southern England into darkness, motorists on all major roads were seen abandoning their vehicles and striking out cross-country in an attempt to reach civilisation.

A large number of extinctions are expected to occurr as a result of the sun being blacked out. Boffins warn that the explosions may contribute to global warming as well as a lowering of temperature caused by a lack of sunlight that will, in turn, trigger glaciation and the start of the next ice age.

Police warned that although it is unlikely that there will be any fuel shortages as a result of the disaster, oil companies should raise their prices immediately, and members of the public are accordingly advised to form irrational queues at filling stations at the earliest opportunity in order to avoid the possibility of panic buying.

Those are the news. Happy now?

2 Comments:

  • On the New York Times web site, this isn't even on the front page. Not even on the front page of "International" news. You have to drill down to "Europe", at which point it is the 4th story down.

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 3:29 am  

  • They're not interested in the third world are they?

    Unless there's oil there.

    And we've just accidentally blown all of ours up.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 4:01 am  

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