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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

January 25, 2006

More on cranberries

They come from swamps don't they? Whatever possessed someone to try a berry that lives in a swamp and tastes like poison? Whatever made them, having once made the indiscretion, eat a second one? And then a third? And then set up an international industry processing and selling them? It defies sense.

There's two kinds of cranberry sauce here in the UK: the one that tastes more bitter than bloody quinine; and the sweet type. The latter is mostly reject strawberry jam laced with slivers of latex.

However, I have to say that I'm partial to the odd Vodka and (dilute) cranberry juice.


  • The story I heard was that the American Pilgrim Fathers had literally nothing to eat, and resorted to cranberries to avoid starvation. They then had to pretend they enjoyed them in order to market the concept of "America" successfully.

    America: Where Even The Swamps Taste Good

    America: Disgusting Is Only (Very Thick and Bitter) Skin Deep

    America: Our Shit Is Red

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 5:39 am  

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