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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

January 20, 2006


Speaking of Telecoms providers, we've still got our ongoing thing with our TV/phone/fictional-broadband provider, whose name is composed of three letters, the first two of which are N and T and the last one rhymes with "hell" (notice the cunning way in which I avoid the possibility of litigation).

You'll remember that I've written them three proper, explicit letters, requesting termination of contract in accordance with terms and conditions and that they contact us to remove their equipment? All to no avail? (Credit providers do this too: they say they've closed your account but actually they haven't - they just wait in the shadows until temptation gets the better of you and you try to draw cash on the card for just one more line of coke.)

Anyway, since then my wife has been into their offices. She borrowed a selection of children from the local poorhouse for augmented persuasion reasons. They hate screaming snotty kids in these sort of places, let alone screaming snotty housewives.

Of course, the attempt failed. The security guard called the police and she had to leave.

More recently my wife spent the day on the phone to their customer services department. Finally, we got somewhere. We've got a date of 2nd February for terminating all service contracts. They'll call to come and disconnect us. We'll get a final bill, and then they will pay back the £314 they owe us for the broadband that we, er... haven't actually got.

Except of course we've heard nothing since. Is it time for fighting talk? We've reminded them that they've been deducting money from the account for a service that we've never had (in fact 13 months ago they refunded one month's worth of the money, so they've even known about it for over a year.)

I'll believe it when it see it.


  • Send them a letter again, stating all the facts, all the dates that you communicated and on which they promised to disconnect you.

    Now also copy in the following:
    - The Chairman's office, NT "hell"
    - OFCOM
    - Your local Trading Standards office
    - Watchdog (BBC)
    - Your MP (hell, they may as well be of some use)

    Tell them that if they do not disconnect and reimburse you in full within the next 7 days, youwill take NT "hell" to the Small Claims Courts, at which point all your time spent on this to date will be charged at £500/hour and every letter and phonecall will be billed to them to the tune of £100.

    I've found that until you push the b*stards, they won't be moved.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:06 am  

  • Thank you very much for the advice.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 7:08 am  

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