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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

July 21, 2005

A Limo to the Prom

Arriving home last night at around 6.30 pm, there was a near-gridock situation on my street, which is a no-through-road terminating in the gates to the local primary school. There were cars parked on both sides of the road, and a huge fecking stretch limo, two taxis getting in each other's way (and mine), and my driveway was nearly-not-quite blocked by a parked car.

For why? I hear you ask.

Well, it was the "Year 6 Prom," wasn't it?

Think about that for a moment.
In the United States, a prom (short for "promenade") is a formal dance held at the end of the second-to-last and last year of high school, called junior prom and senior prom respectively. In British English and Australian English such an event would be called a ball, although in Australian government schools and in Canada it is also often called a formal. In Australia, the term "prom" has also come into sparse usage from North America and in Britain it is becoming widespread...

Accept it that British kids just love to adopt Americanisms, as if most Americans weren't more like Napoleon Dynamite than Brad Pitt, but note that the "Prom" happens in high school, not junior or primary, and it's an event aimed at 16/17/18 year olds - the equivalent of 6th formers in this country. You know, people old enough to get drunk and have sex, that kind of thing.

But the year 6 prom? These are 10 and 11 year olds, for chrissake! And not just having a prom, but a stretch limo? Obviously, you blame the parents. Not just that they're too rich, and too stupid, but what on earth are they thinking? "Let them have the Prom when they're 10, and then they can get on with being addicted to crack and becoming anorexic - they could be in therapy/rehab before they're 15 that way. Then he/she can get married before the age of 20, and fetch up in the divorce courts still looking young and beautiful."

Yeah... The great gift of the 20th century to children in wealthy economies was childhood. Compulsory schooling to the age of 16 (oh, boo hoo, kids) and the opportunity to remain a child for longer. But in the early 21st, as late capitalism searches round the world for cheap labour, and wealthy countries develop economies based around ringtones and insurance, the idea that child labour is wrong is slightly forgotten, and the idea that a 10 year old is still a child is obviously not in the world view of parents who hire stretch limos for a school disco.

They'll be injecting their 9 year old daughters with hormones and suggesting plastic surgery to enhance their boobs before you know it.

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