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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

August 31, 2005

It's still bleddy cold

When it comes to news about Saturn's moon Enceladus*NASA, as ever, are less concerned with science and more with spin, spin, spin. And we're not talking orbits.

Here we have a small lump of icy rock in the depths of space. NASA say that bits of this rock are "hot," meaning that temperatures are as "high" as minus 163° C. Hilariously, they then wheel out their 1969-era party line, "Life could develop there."

Maybe. But it would be the kind of "life" you could could scrape off dog poo and find under a microscope, and not the kind of life we're really interested in: aliens that look like hot human girls with not-unsightly forehead ridges and pointy ears.

If they were willing to fake the moon landings, why not the hot girls with pointy ears? It makes no sense.

*Enceladus, by the way, is Latin for "small and not very interesting lump of icy rock orbiting Saturn."

Addendum: I feel, in fairness, that I should point out here the extremely cool images of Saturn and its moons (see drop down menu on page).

And this audio file of radio signals from Saturn is minus 163 degrees of cool. This one is longer and even better. Hollywood has been getting it right for years. Which proves that there must be hot girls with pointy ears out there somewhere.

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