Custom Shop iPods*

Taking a leaf out of the Fender book Apple Computer announced yesterday that they had released a series of "pre-distressed" iPods, for customers who want their 'Pods to have that "lived-in" look.

Apple VP in charge of marketing, Shill Philler, said that "in response to customer demand" they had released a series of iPod Nanos in various states of disrepair. "Some customers want them to look totally shagged ," added Philler, "whereas others merely want a hint of scratching and slight wear and tear."

The Fender musical instrument company has for some years been selling "distressed" guitars from their custom shop. These range in appearance from "New Old Stock" - meaning it shows signs of age but has never been played - through to "Relic" - meaning the guitar has scratched and chipped paint, a worn fingerboard, and oxidised hardware. in the middle sits the "Closet Classic", which looks as if it is very old, but has been lovingly stored in a cupboard for many years.

There is undoubted caché attached to owning an iPod Nano that is obviously older than those owned by everybody else. Apple warned, however, that the customising took time to do properly, so that there would be a price premium and constrained supply of scratched, dented, and cracked iPod Nanos. "First come, first served," said Philler.

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*Note to Apple lawyers: fuck off.