Famke - she's gonna livke forever

Deep Rising was on BBC3 last night (now, that's a very 21st C thing to say). Had to watch it of course, because my secret girlfriend Famke is in it. She makes a point of being in the trashiest films possible. Deep Rising is one of those, and yet for all its horror clichés (and its sinking ship clichés, and scenes where you have to swim under water and the monster might get you clichés) it's a cut above the usual, because it has Famke in it.

She makes it more fun. If it was just a bunch of blokes running around shouting at each other and shooting, like a lot of these boy-films are, it would be tripe. But Famke makes it interesting, and she has the most beautiful face. Playing a character called Trillian St. James.

It's not just that she's in all these trashy movies, but you just know she's actually very smart (she has an intelligent bone structure) and it's wonderful chemistry. The trashier the film, the more intelligent the female lead, the sexier it is. She speaks Dutch, German, English, and French. Like me, apart from the Dutch, German, and French. A bit.