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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

November 03, 2003

Has it got a Dobly?

Finally got digital telly at the weekend, because it was killing me not being able to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm (bastards; it had better be worth it). Used my dad's old set top box, because he's now got satellite digital.

For weeks I had the box but not the remote control, so I couldn't set it up. Finally got the remote control off him, and managed to set it up after first being bewildered by the Parental Lock code, which looked like it wasn't going to let me do anything (dad can't remember ever putting one in). But I got round that, and then faced the Scart Nightmare.

So you've got a TV, a VCR, a DVD, a Digital decoder, and a surround sound amp. You need to get three (?) SCART leads into a single socket on your old TV (new one arriving this week has two) and you'd like to be able to route sound from TV, video, and DVD through the surround/stereo amp and speakers.

With everything all together in one place, even a 1 metre SCART lead is too long, but I couldn't find shorter. (And anyway, what is it with SCART? They always seem to want to go upside-down or the wrong way round. To get the thing to go into the socket you always seem to have to twist it against itself.) So I followed the hookup diagram that came with the digital box, but it takes no account of DVDs, so I ended up at one point with two pictures, one on top of the other, and at other times with (apparently) three different sound tracks (well, two). Also audio latency when using the amp.

It's amazing how I can keep in my head what you need to do to watch x, y, z, and record a, b, and c. But when it comes to coping with the speaker cable and scart lead and aerial lead and power lead tangle behind my tv, I'm all at sea. Sony offer some hookup diagrams, but in real life the cables aren't as straight and well-behaved as this.

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