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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

June 27, 2005

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I'm obviously not qualified to have opinions about whether it might have been just a little over the top to have coverage of Glastonbury on BBC2, BBC3, BBC4, Radio 1, 6, and 5Live, as well as special reports in other news outlets like the Guardian and the Observer. Just an inkling there that some of the "young people" working for these organs were going anyway, but if they did "special reports" about it, they could claim expenses.

Anyway, there being nothing else at all on TV for most of the weekend, I saw little bits and pieces. Saw a bit of Elvis Costello, but fortunately he was so badly mixed I couldn't hear is horrible voice. Bits and pieces of logo bands. Thought to myself how your heart must sink, if you're at the festival, and fucking Jools Holland comes on stage, and you're stuck with him for an hour with no escape - how remarkable it is that the man sucks all joy out of music, turning it into an academic exercise in one-handed boogie woogie piano.

And I saw what people are already calling the highlight of the whole weekend: Brian Wilson. There's no denying that the band are awesomely good and totally nailed everything, from the harmonies to the arrangements, and also no denying that for summer-themed hit after hit, they seemed to be mining an endless vein, not even approaching the bottom of the barrel.

Wilson himself literally looked wheeled out for most of what I saw, a bewildered stroke victim only vaguely aware of what was going on around him. Reminded me of nothing so much as that early episode of Star Trek (Patterns of Force), where the Great Dictator is kept drugged up and wheeled out behind a large microphone on TV screens, so that recorded speeches could appear to come from him. It was uncomfortable viewing, made me wonder why he puts himself through it.

And why was George Best playing sax?

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