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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

June 13, 2005

How to avoid death by nefarious means

I believe I have found an almost sure-fire way of avoiding a tragic death. If you observe the news in printed, televisual or internetual formats you will note that nearly every single person who leaves this earth due to the foul actions of another has a frankly piss poor picture of themselves displayed for all and sundry.

So when you get home tonight have a good long look in the photo albums. If the only picture you can find of yourself is you in 1987 at your Auntie's 60th birthday party where you have a spiky haircut and a bad jumper and you are looking away from the camera with one eye shut then I'm afraid you'll probably die within a matter of months and that picture will be the world's lasting memory of you. A squint, a shit jumper and a can of Watneys pale ale in your grubby mit and a fag in the corner of your mouth.


  • Feck!

    My most recent one is a daguerrotype on glass taken in 1895 in the Crimea.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 10:44 am  

  • Crikey - I'd get down the portrait studio pronto.

    By Blogger Andrew, at 4:50 am  

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