Join Our Team and Achieve Immortality*
Do you have what it takes to be a part of a winning team? We're recruiting now (4 vacancies), and we're looking for guys (or girls, no mini-skirts please) who have the "right stuff". Our client is a multi-national organisation that can offer all the benefits you would expect from working for a big company, including a direct line to God.
Please take a few minutes to answer these questions so that we can assess your aptitude for the post. There are no right or wrong answers. It's multiple choice, so just pick the answer closest to the way you feel.
1. The football team you support is relegated and near bankruptcy, do you:
(a) Shrug it off philosophically and say, "Oh well, at least we might start winning some games in a lower division"?
(b) Protest outside the club, demanding the resignation of the Chairman and management team?
(c) Start supporting a winning team (like Chelsea)?
(d) Hijack an aircraft and fly it into a building whilst reciting verses from a religious text?
2. Some friends of yours are having a philosophical argument in a pub. Do you,
(a) Blow up the pub?
(b) Join the argument, throw a few insults, drink a few beers and go home?
(c) Join the argument, throw a few insults, drink a few beers and go to Casualty?
(d) Protest outside the pub, demanding that it be closed immediately?
3. The world refuses to live by the tenets of your interpretation of a largely fictional text. Do you,
(a) Shrug it off philosophically and say, "Oh well, boo hoo, live and let live is what I always say."
(b) Protest outside the houses of Parliament, demanding that new laws are passed to force people to respect your overworked imagination?
(c) Pick up some more books, and discover that you don't have to believe everything you read?
(d) Strap explosives to your chest and blow yourself up in a public place?
4. You see an attractive girl at the bus or tram stop. She has a perfect face and beautiful legs. Do you,
(a) Thank the sweet bubby Jesus that it's summer and you have eyes and can see?
(b) Say hello and pass the time of day?
(c) Throw stones at the bus/tram/girl and demand that she cover herself immediately?
(d) Hide explosives in a duffel bag and leave it on the bus/tram connected to a timer and detonator?
*May not be true.
Please take a few minutes to answer these questions so that we can assess your aptitude for the post. There are no right or wrong answers. It's multiple choice, so just pick the answer closest to the way you feel.
1. The football team you support is relegated and near bankruptcy, do you:
(a) Shrug it off philosophically and say, "Oh well, at least we might start winning some games in a lower division"?
(b) Protest outside the club, demanding the resignation of the Chairman and management team?
(c) Start supporting a winning team (like Chelsea)?
(d) Hijack an aircraft and fly it into a building whilst reciting verses from a religious text?
2. Some friends of yours are having a philosophical argument in a pub. Do you,
(a) Blow up the pub?
(b) Join the argument, throw a few insults, drink a few beers and go home?
(c) Join the argument, throw a few insults, drink a few beers and go to Casualty?
(d) Protest outside the pub, demanding that it be closed immediately?
3. The world refuses to live by the tenets of your interpretation of a largely fictional text. Do you,
(a) Shrug it off philosophically and say, "Oh well, boo hoo, live and let live is what I always say."
(b) Protest outside the houses of Parliament, demanding that new laws are passed to force people to respect your overworked imagination?
(c) Pick up some more books, and discover that you don't have to believe everything you read?
(d) Strap explosives to your chest and blow yourself up in a public place?
4. You see an attractive girl at the bus or tram stop. She has a perfect face and beautiful legs. Do you,
(a) Thank the sweet bubby Jesus that it's summer and you have eyes and can see?
(b) Say hello and pass the time of day?
(c) Throw stones at the bus/tram/girl and demand that she cover herself immediately?
(d) Hide explosives in a duffel bag and leave it on the bus/tram connected to a timer and detonator?
*May not be true.
posted by Anonymous at
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
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