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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

November 23, 2005

Genius Truck Drivers of the UK

So. Yet another service for my car. Last one was in Septembiembre, and the one before that was in Junio. I definitely had a major service in Decempre last year, and I think there was probably another mini-service between then and the Junio one.

It dawns on me that 40,000 miles a year means 4 services a year - 2 of them just for oil change.

My car, which cost me around £18k two and a half years ago, is now worth precisely nuffink.

It's now a fact that I service my car more often than I wash it.

And my mind-set has adjusted to the point where I think I might buy a Ford next time, just because the servicing thereof will be considerabubly cheaper than the Volkswagen option. The VW garage basically get the Inland Revenue to attach your earnings for with a special V-code, which means you get negative personal allowances.

This is All My Own Fault, and I have Nobody To Blame But Myself, because it was My Decision to live on Mars and work on Pluto.

Anyway, I wonder, which manufacturer makes the car that is most resistant to being crushed by an overturning lorry?

It's the time of year. The dark dark commutes, the white cack flying off the roads, the frozen washer jets, the resulting white-out effect on the windscreen; the stupid fucking fog lights and the morons who think their cars look cool with them on; the stupid rear fog lights left on even when there is no longer any fog, and the drivers who are too dumb to take the hint to switch them off... and the random stupidity, aggression, and ignorance of truckers. Shouldn't a GCSE in Physics be compulsory for truck drivers?

Monday night there was a broken down coach in the M1 roadworks at Leicester, which caused a 93 million mile tailback. Yesterday morning, a car transporter overturned in the truck drivers' favourite overturning spot: between J29 and 30 of the M1. There have been a few silly accidents in those Leicester roadworks as well. The speed limit is 40 mph, which most people obey, because there are average speedcheck cameras. There are still 3 lanes, but two of them are narrow and HGVs are restricted to the inside/hard shoulder lane as a result. This is clearly indicated with signage.

But there's always at least one HGV driver who thinks he should be allowed to stay in the middle lane - not only that, but that slowing down to 40mph is optional. He then encounters the narrowing of the lane and the obstacle of a car doing 40 mph and attempts the quick switch to the inside lane, still maintaining his momentum.

Last night, I noted an HGV tyre-sized skid mark in the middle lane in the roadworks, which was several tens of metres long.

Yet another genius trucker taken by surprise by the roadworks, which had only been signalled for 3 miles by, you know, road signs, and slower traffic.

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