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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

November 16, 2005

It's not the opening hours, stupid

More binge drinking stories in the news today, as fears of the coming Opening Hours Apocalypse grip the nation. Alcohol is bad, mmmmkay? As one correspondent to a Luton newspaper once put it, why do people need to drink so much when they're not even thirsty?

Tony Blair and his team of weasels think that by giving us continental opening hours, we'll magically adopt a continental-style drinking culture. But, aside from the fact that, outside September and October, we don't have the weather for it, we also don't have the venues for it.

Because it's not the opening hours, it's the table service.

It's a culture in which your night out involves sitting with friends/family, having a nice chat about life, and watching the world go by. Occasionally a waiter or waitress will approach your table and take orders for drinks. You will order drinks and go on chatting about life and watching the world go by. The drinks will arrive, and you will enjoy them whilst chatting and etc.

Sit a British person or persons at a table in a French café and see how they fret after 30 seconds that they haven't been served yet. Do they know we're here? Should I order inside? What's the hold-up? Shall we try somewhere else? After a few more minutes, they get up and walk away.

Never mind taking the weight off your feet and enjoying a social chat. Where are our drinks!!?

Which is why, if you want a continental drinking culture, you go to the continent.

1 Comments:

  • This is very true, and very deeply ingrained. I’ve been living on the Continent (first Holland and then Belgium) for over five years now and, when I go out, I still don’t start to relax until the first round of drinks has arrived.

    More flexible licensing laws won’t change differences in drinking culture between the UK and mainland Europe overnight and they are unlikely to reduce the amount of alcohol we consume as a nation. But they may slow down some of the binging and reduce the numbers of drunks being turned out of pubs at the same time, which is a good thing.

    I find the whole licencing hours debate quite disheartening as it seems to have polarised between the unrealistically apocalyptic and the hopelessly utopian.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:41 pm  

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