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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

April 21, 2006

What a day Dad had.

[groans] I'm having one of those days. Plan of action was a quick walk into town this morning to get my car tax; then another walk in for the dentist this afternoon.

It was pleasant enough, first thing. The sun was trying to poke through. The amount of birdsong in the woods on the way down to the main road was extraordinary, including one bird that made a noise like a rusty hinge.

I got to the Post Office: no queue, which is a result. Had everything I needed, or so I thought. In 25 years of buying tax discs, I've never yet taken the wrong thing. Until today. I'd pulled out my statement of insurance, and not the certificate. What's the difference? I must have known once, but now I obviously don't.

So, that mission aborted. Walked back up the hill, had a cup of Illy (we don't say "coffee" round here, except I just did) and some biscotti, read the local paper. Walked back down to town with the correct documents. On the way through the woods, noticed a dead pigeon. Are we supposed to report that kind of thing now? I mean, birds must die all the time, and it doesn't have to be...

BIRD FLU!!!!!

But you never know. So, what, do I dial 999 and report a dead pigeon?

Having sorted my car tax, I decided to get some cash from the machine. Hesitated before accepting my card (the HSBC machine in Buckingham High Street has always been dodgy), and then ate it, threw up an error message, and told me to contact my issuer.

So I phoned my bank, cancelled the card, and they offered to sort me out some over-the-counter cash. I declined, saying that I'd use my joint account card to get some cash back at the Tesco Extra. Then I heard some bloke from the bank fiddling around at the back of the machine. Walked into the bank, and he handed me back my card. Ha ha!

I phoned my bank again, asking if the cancellation could be cancelled. Negatory. And apparently the geezer from the bank should not have handed my card back, because I "could have been anybody." Oops.

Went into Tesco Extra, got some baps, went to pay with my other card, to get cash back. Negatory. Tesco Extra don't do cash back.

So now I'm cashless. And I realise I should not have been eating my rock-hard home-made biscotti on the day I've got a dental appointment. It's just asking for trouble.
+++
In other news, yesterday on the way into Aylesbury I went through some interesting roadworks. Speed limit was 30 mph, fair enough. But instead of just a flashing SLOW DOWN sign, they had electronic signs telling you how fast you were actually going. So now I know that when my speedo says 30 mph, I'm actually doing 28 mph.

Next time, I'm going to drive through at 70, to see what speed I'm actually doing then.

3 Comments:

  • Corn buntings sound like rusty hinges, but you normally get those only in open farmland.

    svwmwzbb.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 5:54 am  

  • There is a bird flu hotline for reporting dead birds. I was amused to note that it is a premium rate 0870 number (as reported in last Sunday's Times).

    It's nice to know that someone is profiting from it all.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 5:58 am  

  • The bird I could see in the general direction of the sound looked like some kind of tit (or finch?).

    I forgot to mention also that Didi had hysterics this morning because there was a slug on the patio.

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 6:04 am  

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