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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

October 10, 2003

What the fuk is up with the world?

I'm a placid kind of guy, as you know, but as of this moment, I have steam coming out of my ears. All right, I'm not that placid usually, but still.

First of all. The postman. Lazy freaking bastard. So I have 3 CDs coming from amazon, and I forgot to change the delivery address to work, as I usually do. My bad. But still. It's a flat packet, not heavy, not bulky, not large. He comes early, our postman, before I leave for work, usually, and definitely before Babette thinks of going out on a Thursday.

But does he bring the packet? No, he's too lazy to carry it, so he puts it on the van. The van comes some time after ten, and nobody's home, which means I had to go out early this morning to pick it up.

So far so inconvenient, but now I find that instead of the usual 4 parking spaces outside the delivery office, there are double yellow lines. Fantastic. And they no longer allow public parking out the back, but why?

Here's why. When I was working as a postie, it was only 6, 7 years ago, there was one lazy fat bastard who drove a car to his "walk" (his mail delivery route). Everyone else rode the company bike. You get up early, you cycle to work, you sort your route (only putting the most impossibly to carry items on the van), and then you cycle to your route, deliver, and cycle home. Easy. I was home before 9 a.m., most days.

But now, I kid you not, there must have been 20 cars parked around there, all going in and out containing lazy fat bastard postmen/women and their bags. And there's nowhere to park, so they're up and down on the pavement and blocking the road and reversing in dangerous places and parking where it says DO NOT PARK and shit like that.

What's wrong with people? Here is a fantastic job that gives you exercise and sees you home before most people are starting their day, and they're all adding to the misery of the world by driving to fucking work.

And that's not all. So I drove to work, and when I get here there are two fucking trucks parked on double yellow lines, with a car parked on the opposite side of the road, on a double yellow, and I can't get past to get into the car park.

This morning, faced with double yellows and lazy postal workers, I turned my car round and went into the market place car park (which they could have done, had they not been too lazy to even carry their bags that far) and walked across the road. When I see a double yellow, I don't park on it. I look for what is called a parking space. What's wrong with these people? It's not just that they're parking where they shouldn't, but they're doing so knowing that nobody can actually use the right of way.

I promised myself I wouldn't use this blog to rant. In a while I'll talk about Martina, who made me smile this morning.


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