Gérard Deparidieu in the Observer

You know, if you're condemned to have a portly figure, what better role model could there be than Mr Gérard Depardieu? I commend the reader to this interview with the great man in yesterday's Observer. Here's a taster, in the form of his father's method for cooking hedgehog:

He used to stick a pump up its arse and blow it up so that he could remove its spikes. Then he used to gut it, clean it, wrap it in mud and throw it on the fire. After an hour or so he used to knock off the baked earth and the hedgehog was cooked.

Quality.