Luvvies

There's a very funny article in this week's Radio Times about the return of the Mitchell Brothers to the East End. First of all it's hilarious to read the early "scriptwriter's bible" on the brothers' characters - there's mention of two sisters who no longer appear to exist, no mention at all of their organised crime connections, and even a bit about how Grant has a strong visual sense "and is just as able to appreciate pre-Raphaelite art as he is the pages of Viz."

Hmmm, must work that into a script as soon as possible. The audience will be gripped as Grant swans up to the National Gallery in his Triumph TR5, wearing a flat cap and carrying a copy of Viz under his arm.

But my favourite bit is the interview with the 3 Mitchell actors (ignoring Billy, who Peggy keeps telling us is not a real Mitchell). The interviews work best if you imagine them being spoken in a clipped, RADA, Received Pronunciation accent.

Ross Kemp: "I've been away from EastEnders for six years, so when I walked into make-up again for the first time I felt a bit queazy."

Babs: "...we're huge friends outside work. Sometimes I go to the Ivy with Ross..."

McFadden: "I was in Cornwall, repairing a fishing boat I keep down there when the call came asking me to come back..."

Hmmm... The Mitchells selling off-quota cod and pre-Raphaelite art from the back of a van on Walford market. The audience will be gripped etc. etc...