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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

March 28, 2006

The Dating Game

In a long, though apparently not "heartfelt" post, Damian at Pootergeek deconstructs the dating game and wonders why people think it's acceptable these days to stand someone up via text message.

I've commented on there that the Catch 22 of Dating is that it's easier to get a girlfriend when you already have one; also that single women are harder to pull than those already in a relationship.

There really is a lot cheatin' and lyin' and foolin' around going on. Such is life (and Country music).

I reached a tipping point in my late 20s, after years of practice, when the Chase became suddenly easier, and - give or take - I ceased to have the kind of trouble Damian's been having. I'm not smug about it. It's a truism that when you're single you wish you were in a relationship, but as soon as you are - well.

It's amazing what will work, as a chat-up line. I'm no foot fetishist, for example (really, no, I'm not), but I once noticed that someone I was with had really pretty feet. Most women, I think it's true to say, would be better served by sporting a pair of Doctor Marten boots rather than forcing the sight of their bunion-beset, calloused, crippled feet on the rest of us by wearing those slinky, expensive shoes. So I was a little surprised to note that J's feet were undamaged and, as I said, very pretty. I just said, "Nice feet," or something like that, and that was it, I was in.

If you think about it, the flip-side of being somewhat obsessed with shoes (to the extent that I am obsessed with gee-tars) is that a compliment paid to the foot will go as far as someone telling me they like my guitar playing. But I think it's really, really, important not to leave anyone with the impression that you only like feet, if you know what I mean.


  • There's that thing about French art where if the model was painted touching her ankle it was symbolic that she was having an affair with the artist.

    And there's that perception that if you don't belong to somebody already then there must be something wrong with you.

    In some respects I'm glad all of that stuff is behind me now, being a fat old misanthrope. I'd be hopeless.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 2:22 am  

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