Commercial Fantasies

Following on from yesterday's slight rant about continental drinking culture, I thought I'd share with you my pet theories on how cafés should run.

While I have been trying to train myself not to be impatient in French cafés (with some degree of success), I've noticed that some places don't seem to be run by commercially minded management. Especially when there are no grown-ups in evidence, you do sometimes sit at an empty table for longer than is comfortable for even the most tolerant Brit.

So I try to avoid those places that are being manned/run by students who obviously have no interest in the profitability of each table.

I've also noticed that, if we are the first customers of the day (and I always want to stop for a coffee before anyone else does, since I'd rather drink coffee than hang around in Armand Thiery stores), that we are soon joined by other customers, and a place that was deserted becomes busy and bustling.

Many people are reluctant to sit at an empty table in or outside an empty café. The owners must be sitting around, becoming increasingly desperate for that first punter of the day. Which is why, if I was running a place, I'd have a table outside displaying a sign that reads, "La première boisson est libre pour notre premier client du jour." or words to that effect. Adding "...qui n'est pas un bruit" (I think bruit is French for tramp).

Alternatively, you could operate this policy quietly, ad hoc, so that regular customers might be aware of it, so might start dropping by early for their free espresso. Once you've got the punter at a table, the other punters come rolling in.

As an enterprise, your café is losing money for every minute you are open if you have empty tables. So it pays to get people in early, and it would pay double not to keep them hanging around for service.