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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

April 05, 2006

norwegian blue

as you can probably tell from my (occasional) posts, i'm quite a fun guy to be around. if, for instance, you were to ask me if i had any painkillers, i would probably say no, i haven't, because the parrot ate 'em all! geddit? see, fun guy...

i mention this because i get through a lot of paracetamols. i get headaches, and paracetamol has got caffeine in it or something so it keeps me awake. i've been on the interweb and apparently it's not bad for you and not habit-forming, so that's ok. i get nosebleeds, not from picking, it's a bright reddy colour, i don't know if there is any connection.

so what i want to moan about now is the fact that i can't buy more than one packet at a time. because if i wanted to kill myself, i wouldn't realise that i could go to 5 or 6 different shops and get the required fatal dosage, would i?

we all suffer because of the selfishness of the depressed few. like the suicide who throws himself in front of the rush hour tube train. or something.

we all must stay behind after class.


  • Maybe they do it for similar reasons to those for having several members in a firing squad i.e. so that no individual chemist has to suffer the pangs of responsibility.

    The tragic thing about paracetamol as a means of shuffling off the old coil is that it takes so long that most attemptees change their minds before they suffer complete organ failure.

    For a while they feel quite normal, glad they failed, and then have to be told that actually they haven't failed at all, they've just got to wait a bit longer in the queue before they get to go through the gates of hell and meet the Red Bubby.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 7:09 am  

  • don't some of the guns hold blanks? to further alleviate the guilt? they should sell packets of placebo paracetamol maybe.

    i learned about the slow death bit from watching an episode of casualty. so my 30+ years glued to a screen haven't been a complete waste of time.


    By Blogger dog, at 7:33 am  

  • I think you're right about the blanks.

    My wife told me about the paracetamols. She's a nurse. She says it's heartbreaking having to care for those people, not to mention the effect on their relatives.

    eobiaeeq. Extraordinary Old Baldies Investigate An Elizabethan English Queen.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 8:38 am  

  • An Elizabethan English Queen? Would that be, er, Queen Elizabeth?

    sdeicqeb just seems like punishment for being facetious.

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 10:01 am  

  • There seems to be an unnatural number of Qs that come up in these.

    wctqvxzq. We could talk quietly, viewing xylophones zinging quickly.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 10:51 am  

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