Marketing Morons Infest Radio Bloke

Grr! Regular listeners to BBC Radio Five Live will have detected that - in every sports bulletin - the presenter has to say something like, "Don't forget that Five Live is your World Cup Station, with every game live."

It does not sound spontaneous. It sounds like something they've been told to say every time they report on some aspect of the World Cup. It may be my imagination, but I thought I detected a little bit of shit-eating weary cynicism in Peter Allen's tone yesterday, when some cub reporter was trying to whip up some hyped excitement about the England team arriving at their hotel. You could hear the cogs ticking over in Allen's mind. Is this actually news? He can see his short-term future: reading news bulletins about Rooney's foot, what Rio had for breakfast, and what the hotel pool is like.

Somewhere in the bowels of the BBC some nurk who did a marketing degree has issued an edict that all sports reports have to include the words, "We're your World Cup Station," and, I tell you what, it makes me fucking mad. I look forward to the actual football, along with many others, but I resent to my very soul every attempt to shove a meaningless marketing message down my throat. It makes me want to smash things up.