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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

May 26, 2006


I had a two week period a while ago, filling in application forms that made me want to slit my wrists. It was a coincidence, really, that so many of them were for public sector organisations, and those people really take the biscuit when it comes to making life as hard as possible. Trying to put you off.

It was filling in all those, with the accompanying feeling that it was all a pointless waste of time (because I wasn't in a positive frame of mind, following a couple of disappointments), that made me just want to give up and go live in a cardboard box in the middle of the road.

Ironically, in the week I've finally sorted myself out, I've been invited to three other interviews. I already told you about the one they couldn't shortlist for and decided to, what the hell, interview some people anyway. Another company has invited me for the Monday after we get back from holiday. They were American and I didn't really want to work for an American company (I hate US corporate culture), so I'm relieved to be blowing that one out. And there's another one...

I was just talking to Roy about this. One of the many, many, sections on the application form was a bit that said, "Please give any dates you will not be able to attend interview." So, of course, I told them I was away next week. The invite letter reads like this:

I am pleased to invite you to an interview on Thursday 1 June at 12.30pm. I note that your application form states that you are unable to attend an interview this week. Unfortunately we are unable to offer any alternative dates and if you could make it on 1 June we would be very pleased to see you.

For pleased, read surprised.

The letter goes on to talk about the process. That paragraph begins, "The morning will consist of a tour..."

The morning? But you've invited me for the afternoon. On a day that you know I can't be there anyway. It's like something out of Kafka.

See, on paper, it looks like they've got a proper shortlist and, due diligence and all that, invited qualified candidates to interview. In reality, they've given themselves an afternoon off during half-term.

I wouldn't have gone anyway, but don't you just love the idea of working for an organisation that's so inflexible that they can't even postpone an interview date for three working days? You can almost hear them moaning about their colleagues in other departments from here.


  • I suspect that it's all part of the selection process. If you can't be there and in the south of France at the same time you don't really have the sort of omnipresence that they're looking for.

    Same thing with time travel of arriving in the afternoon for the interview and zipping back through time a couple of hours for a tour of the organisation.

    It wasn't for a role as the next Dr Who was it?

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 4:56 am  

  • Ooh, thankless tasks of our times: the next Doctor Who is going to get such a hard time from the lovely girls who love Mr T. Who'd want to step into those shoes? Maybe they can get that bloke who replaced Ringo when he was having his tonsils out in '65

    By Blogger bot37363838, at 6:01 am  

  • i think you'll find that was jimmy nicol

    By Blogger dog, at 6:15 am  

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