Abject

Voice: Hello?
Agent: Hi, David, it's James.
David: Hello?
Agent: David? Can hear me? James.
David: James? You're very faint.
Agent: Yeah, DAVID? I THINK YOU'VE GOT THE PHONE UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN.
David: What? Oh. Hi. How's it going?
Agent: Great, David. Saw the game last night. Very -
David: Yeah, you know, we just weren't good enough, you know, we didn't gel as a team, but we're gonna -
Agent: I wanted to say, Dave, bad luck on the result, but I heard your interview afterwards, and -
David: You know, we're just gonna stick together now. We're a team and that's what teams do. We're all here for each other, you know, and we're -
Agent: Yeah, Dave, great. I heard the interview. I just wanted to touch base and talk - not about the game, David, - but about the interview, and how it went. We need to think about your post-football career now, and -
David: What do you mean, post-football?
Agent: Well, Dave, it's just that if you don't put things in place now, you're going to find yourself outflanked. Gary, and David James, and Rio, and such. These people are going to get all the plumb media assignments. Even Alan, you may have noticed, has had obvious media training.
David: Alan?
Agent: Yeah, Alan. No longer quite as monotonous, hadn't you noticed? Now, I wanted to talk about the performance. I know you'd just come off the pitch -
David: Yeah, it was a hard game, you know, we were all disappointed with the result, and the fans are right to be disappointed, you know, it was a bad performance, but we -
Agent: No, Dave, not the performance on the pitch, the performance in the interview.
David: Oh. It was okay, wasn't it?
Agent: Yeah, no, it was great. You were - you were sincere, I thought, you came across very sincere, but you said it, you know, you said it a lot.
David: Said what?
Agent: You know.
David: No, I don't. Said what?
Agent: We discussed it, Dave. You said, you know. A lot.
David: Said what a lot.
Agent: You said the words. You. Know. You and Know. A lot.
David: Oh, did I?
Agent: Yeah.
David. How many times did I say it?
Agent: Sixty Seven Million Times.
David: Oh.
Agent: And we discussed this. Do you remember we discussed this?
David: Yeah, but it was a hard game, you know, and we were all disappointed, you know, and I wanted to apologise to the fans, you know, and...[dial tone]