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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

December 12, 2005

They think it's oil over... it is now

Simon has filled us in on the big news event of the weekend (unless you read the New York Times). Marie's take on it is a classic, too.

My own interest is in how it started. Because that's the most interesting aspect, isn't it, if you love coincidence and synchronicity? You need two conditions for such a blast: first of all, a leak of some description; and then a spark.

One assumes that workers in such places are hyper-aware of danger of naked flames and sparks. I still switch off my lights etc in the petrol station. We should all switch off our mobile phones when filling up, but do we? Of course not.

My main theory is that there was a smoker there, sneaking a quick fag in what he thought of as a "safe" area. Throwing said fag out of the window, perhaps, of his car, or of a nearby building. It's always the smokers, you see, because their main purpose in life is to pollute the moon and stars. And if they can't do that, they'll make your clothes and hair smell, just because they can. I can't help wondering what this guy was doing, in the immediate beforemath From the Guardian:
Security guard Raheel Ashraf, who had been inside a building close to the depot, described being blown off his feet in the blasts and said: 'It was like being in hell.'The 26-year-old landed unconscious and came round seconds later to be confronted by giant flames. He then leapt 15ft from a window to escape the shattered building. He said: 'All I could hear was this long thundery sound - the after-effects of the bang. I went through one window and landed in a pile of bricks and broken glass.'"

I'm not casting aspersions. Just wondering.


  • I reckon it was started by the CIA in order to take the UK over its pollution production quota for the next 20 years.

    Thus under international law we're forbidden from using any fossil fuels for the duration, which means the US gets it all to themselves.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 4:20 am  

  • By the way, that's your second excellent "headline" today!

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 5:28 am  

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