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Hoses of the Holy in the Parallel Universe

May 12, 2006

Don't mention the pensions

Let's pause for a second to reflect on these headlines. New deal ends deadlock over pensions... Blair and Brown agree link with earnings, retirement age to be 68. So says The Gonad. And the BBC have been saying it all day: Brown and Blair in pensions deal... A deal on pensions has been agreed between Tony Blair and Gordon Brown following months of wrangling, the prime minister has confirmed.

So what are we talking about here? Hugh Scanlon and Tedward Heath? Arthur Scargill and Mrs T? Implacable enemies, on opposing sides, incompatible ideologies? General Strike averted? It would seem so. Except this is supposed to be the Prime Ministrone of this future archipelago and his right hand man, the chancellor of the ex-pecker. They're supposed to be, historically and traditionally, you know, on the same side, part of the same team.

Now, I'm not so naive as to believe that this sort of thing hasn't gone on since the Magna Carta, but c'mon. This is important stuff. Pensions. Death. Taxes. And yet the only story that's going on is the wrestling match beetween Blown and Brair. It seems to me that we're either being badly let down by our news media, or our national politics has degenerated to a ridiculous low point, more Billy Smart's Circus than anything else.

Personally, I've got no time for either of them. Blair is a gimlet-eyed weasel from another planet and Brown is a tinkerer, a fiddler, a Babbage who works on strange, complex machines and makes stupid errors (Child Tax Credit, anyone?). Keep it simple, stupid.


  • Pensions? Taxes? Who cares, man. I've got credit cards.

    I had a letter from the pensions people in Blackpool or wherever it is now. They said, "like, we don't want to get really heavy with you, man, but did you know that if you were, like 65 now you would only be getting £164 a week. That's really bad, right?"

    Now, I'm under no illusions that there will still be a state pension when I'm actually 65 in a few years' time, but by then I'll have paid off my mortgage, so call me Shylock, but £164 seems quite a lot. I could probably afford to start smoking again.

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 3:12 am  

  • BONG!

    I just clicked! The truth lies in my first, ironic, paragraph.

    The truth is that most people will have credit debts with minimum repayments of more than £165 a week by then!

    By Blogger SimonHolyHoses, at 3:14 am  

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